<?php
/**
 * <https://y.st./>
 * Copyright © 2015 Alex Yst <mailto:copyright@y.st>
 * 
 * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
 * it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
 * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
 * (at your option) any later version.
 * 
 * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
 * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
 * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
 * GNU General Public License for more details.
 * 
 * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
 * along with this program. If not, see <https://www.gnu.org./licenses/>.
**/

$xhtml = array(
	'<{title}>' => 'Please don&apos;t send me pizzas. I can&apos;t eat meat or cheese.',
	'<{body}>' => <<<END
<p>
	Twidere quit functioning on me after the update last night.
	I&apos;ve uninstalled it and installed  AndStatus.
	It may take a bit to get used to the differences, but it should work just fine.
	It certainly has one thing going for it at the very least: unlike the new version of Twidere, it doesn&apos;t crash every time it is started.
</p>
<p>
	Speaking of glitches and malfunctions, it seems my mobile has taken up the habit of spazing out if it has been powered on too long.
	I haven&apos;t been paying attention to exactly the length of time, but it takes at least several days before any issues occur.
	Once problems arise, rebooting fixes everything.
	Why does my mobile have to reboot periodically? It&apos;s not running Windows, after all.
</p>
<p>
	Someone sent a Domino&apos;s pizza to my door under my legal name.
	Later, while I was away from home, apparently Pizza Hut also tried to deliver, though no one was home to receive the pizzas.
	we had just been discussing the availability of my postal address in my whois records on <a href="ircs://irc.volatile.club:6697/%23Volatile">#Volatile</a>, and the timing lines up a little too well.
	I received email confirmations from both orders, and both were sent to the email address from my <a href="/a/contact.xhtml">contact</a> page, an email address I have never posted anywhere but there and have never used in the physical world.
	This means that the people sending these orders got my address and name from my whois records (or from the channel when someone posted a partial copy of my whois records there), but got my email address from my contact page, not the whois records.
	Please don&apos;t send me pizzas though, I&apos;m vegan and cannot eat meat or cheese.
	Much food was wasted today.
	Both orders were placed using different bogus telephone numbers, leading me to believe that two separate people were pranking me, not just one person pranking me with two orders.
</p>
<p>
	On <a href="ircs://irc.volatile.club:6697/%23Volatile">#Volatile</a>, donkus asked if I own this domain.
	This statement here acts as proof that I do (though donkus said no proof was needed).
</p>
<p>
	Today, <a href="/a/canary.txt">no one prevents me from speaking my mind</a>.
</p>
END
);
